Fly_Goose Girl Retold Read online

  "Get up and give it to me," Father said wearily, holding out his hand.

  Yun jumped to his feet and ascended the dais to his father's side. "It was a slaughter," Yun said. "I'd be surprised if Chinggis can field a proper army after that, we've killed so many of them. If it were up to me, we'd call off the war here and now. No more fighting."

  "And what about their attacks in the south-eastern villages? Baron Dong tells me he has no one left to plant next season's crops, for they are all dead. Chinggis has an army, and they outnumber us. If we stop fighting, their victory is assured, which is why this war will continue as long as I or Chinggis lives. Only a fool would think of stopping." Father eyed Yun darkly. "But you have always been a fool, writing songs and poems when your brothers were learning to rule. Good thing you are the youngest son and you will never be Emperor. If you were to rule in my place, the empire would fall." He laughed, and was echoed a moment later by the rest of the court.

  When the empire's army was too busy raping the women of one village to save their own people, perhaps it deserved to fall.

  Yun gritted his teeth, biting back the retort he wanted to make. He'd learned everything his brothers had, and he was far from a fool. Which was why he held his tongue.

  "You may return to the army and tell your brothers they have done well, but they need to march for the south-east at once."

  Where his brothers would find no sign of Chinggis' army, so they would cross the border to slaughter another village in the name of retribution. And procure more women…

  Yun tasted bile in the back of his throat. He had no desire to watch his brothers torment people who had done nothing to deserve it. Better to be a court fool than a dishonourable soldier.

  But his father wouldn't want to hear a word against his favourite sons.

  "Oh, but I couldn't!" Yun exclaimed in feigned horror. "Not after my first campaign. I must compose an epic poem about our most recent victory while it is still clear in my mind!" He wanted to cringe at how foolish he sounded. Surely his father wouldn't believe…

  The Emperor clapped his hands. "That's my boy! After their first battle, your brothers all wanted another one, but you want a poem, and you shall have it! Never let it be said that I don't treasure my sons. You write what you will, and you may perform it when your brothers return victorious." He waved at a nearby servant. "Go with the prince, and make sure my boy has everything he needs."

  Yun muttered his thanks and bowed briefly before he fled the court, with the servant close behind.

  More than ever, he wanted to vomit. How could he create something that glorified torture and slaughter, when he wanted to stop it?

  Perhaps he was a fool after all.

  Five

  Ava expected to be summoned to her father's throne room at any moment, but as the day dragged on, boredom overtook fear in her mind. There was nothing in her sleeping cubicle but the bed, and lying on it didn't bring her any rest. Curse her for falling asleep last night.

  What would her punishment be? If it involved incarceration in a chamber as small as this one, she would lose her wits within the week. She could feel them slipping even now…

  Someone threw open the door and Ava blinked in the light, trying to focus on the person who stood in the doorway. "You are to come with me," a female voice said, gesturing imperiously.

  Ava clambered to her feet and followed the woman she did not know to a part of the women's palace that was forbidden to her, and, in fact, most of the other princesses: the Queen's apartments.

  As the King's principal wife, her apartments were as big as the rest of the harem the other women shared, and the two were separated by a set of double doors that looked gold, or gold-skinned, at least. Her father had conquered enough territory to own solid gold doors, if he so chose, Ava knew, but she wasn't sure why he would want them here, where few people would see them. Why, only the Queen, and the Queen's servants ever entered these chambers. If the King wanted any of his wives or concubines, he summoned them to his own chambers.

  "She awaits you inside," the serving woman said.

  Ava took a deep breath and pushed open those gleaming doors, then stepped through. Rich carpets covered the floors here, all the way up to a dais where the Queen lounged on a pile of cushions. A throne room without a throne, for the Queen's power came not from a chair but a bed.

  Ava shivered. The most powerful woman she knew only had power because she opened her legs to a powerful man, so that she might bear his children. Was that the best destiny she could aspire to? If importance came at the price of letting some man paw her, then Ava didn't want to be significant. Men could keep their hands and all their other parts to themselves, as far as she was concerned. At least her body would be her own.

  Unless the man were one who was so awed by her, like Batu had been, that his every touch, his every caress, was like a paean of worship to a goddess.

  Ava almost laughed aloud at the thought. She was no goddess. She was barely even a princess, for her mother had been only a concubine, and the King could have chosen not to acknowledge her as his daughter. If she was the goddess of anything, it was shyness. A deity so minor, no one ever noticed her to pray to her, which was probably a good thing.

  Ava reached the foot of the dais and bowed low, touching her forehead to the floor, then waited.

  "So you are the girl who escaped the harem to seduce some common soldier," the Queen said.

  It was on the tip of Ava's tongue to tell her the whole expedition had been Lagle's idea, but she kept her mouth firmly shut. The Queen hadn't asked her to speak, let alone rise, yet.

  "But what more could one expect? Your mother was little more than a common whore when she seduced my husband on the battlefield. That he brought her here to the harem was an insult to all the noble-born wives who had to share it with her. And you!" The Queen surveyed Ava, her lip curled in disgust. "Running off to the barracks at the first opportunity! You can't be kept in the harem with the other, more virtuous princesses."

  "Like Lagle?" Ava retorted before she could think to close her mouth.

  The Queen pounced. "Exactly! You should be trying to emulate my daughter. In fact, that is exactly what you will do. Henceforth, you shall be her lady-in-waiting so that you learn how a proper princess behaves."

  Like a spoiled brat, Ava thought darkly but mercifully managed not to say. At least she wouldn't be forced to serve Lagle for long. Her sister's upcoming nuptials were common knowledge. The Queen wouldn't want her…

  The Queen continued, "You will accompany Lagle to her husband's palace when she marries, for she must have attendants. That should keep you out of trouble, and far from the young princesses who might be corrupted by your bad example. Lagle is too far above you to sully herself in such things."

  Ava's mouth dropped open and she couldn't seem to close it. Leave the harem as Lagle's servant? Did the Queen not know her daughter at all?

  Evidently not.

  "You had best pack your belongings. Lagle leaves within the week."

  Coldness settled over Ava. Exile. She had thought the Queen would send her to the Summer Palace, as rumour said she did with any other princess who irritated her. But sending her to a foreign court with Lagle would be much worse.

  "Consider yourself lucky, girl. There are dozens of other highborn girls who would be honoured to serve Lagle when she becomes a queen in her own right. If you do not thank me, I will think you terribly ungrateful."

  "I thank you, Your Majesty," Ava said dully.

  "You may go."

  Ava backed out of the Queen's presence with all haste. It was only when the golden doors closed behind her that Ava dared to breathe again. Her shoulders drooped as her heavy fate settled on them.

  Exile with Lagle. Horrors.

  Perhaps life imprisonment wouldn't have been so bad. Too late now.

  Ava sighed, and accepted her fate. What choice did she have?

  She hurried back to the harem to find Bianca, her only friend, an
d tell the other girl what had happened.

  Six

  Yun stared at the blank piece of parchment, but he didn't see it. Instead, he saw the pale faces of the girls shut in that horse enclosure, blank and awaiting their fate. Or the corpses of their dead men, who died fighting to save them. Died, and failed.

  Farmers. Peasants. Not fighters.

  Their daughters and wives. Dead now, like their menfolk, he had no doubt.

  He rose from his stool and paced the room.

  He wished he'd never gone to war. Never killed, never seen the aftermath. Never seen the monsters his brothers became. But it was too late for wishes now. Wishes could not bring back the dead whose vengeful spirits would haunt him until the day he died, and maybe afterwards in hell, too.

  How could he glorify the slaughter he'd seen?

  Yun didn't have words to describe it, and the pictures in his head would not let him rest.

  He plunged the brush into the ink and yanked it out again, splattering the table with black spots. Dried blood, he thought, as he swiped the brush across the page. Dead faces with eyes that stared, dead eyes in living faces, and still he heard their screams. He drew their essence on the paper in stark black lines until there was no pristine paper to soil with the people of his nightmares.

  And still it was not enough.

  Yun sank to the floor, cradling his head in his hands.

  He was a fool, like his father said. A fool to have gone to war, a fool to have come home again.

  For one heartsick moment, he wished he was more like his brothers. Capable of revelling in the suffering of others, taking pleasure in causing it.

  Then sanity returned.

  Yun grabbed the sheets littering the table, crumpling them into a ball against his chest. He pitched the papers into the fire, watching the flames flare up and consume his creations. If only the fire could consume his visions as well. He would welcome hell after death if it could make him forget.

  Seven

  "You're going where?" Bianca exclaimed.

  "To the nether hells, where I'll have to serve Queen Lagle," Ava repeated.

  Bianca shook her head. "I don't understand. Why? Lagle doesn't even like you. Why would she ask for you to accompany her to her new court?"

  "Because of last night," Ava admitted.

  Bianca clapped her hands to her mouth. "You mean you were caught coming back? Is that why no one could find you this morning? Last night, when we finished swimming, Lagle said she saw you leave, so we should hurry back before we were caught."

  "I fell asleep in the garden and when I woke up this morning, the courtyard was full of soldiers."

  Bianca paled – quite a feat, seeing as her skin was the palest of any of the princesses already. "Surrounded by men? What did you do?"

  Not wanting to admit the embarrassing truth, Ava asked, "What would you have done?"

  "I would have done my best to disappear," Bianca began, then stopped. "Run, of course. What did you do?"

  "I…" Ava reddened. "I tried to disappear, but there were so many of them. I'm no witch, who can make myself invisible at will." From the way Bianca avoided her eyes, Ava suspected her sister knew more of such things than she did. More than once, she’d seen a shimmer of magic around Bianca. "I did what I always do. I fell to pieces. I'm not brave like you, or even Lagle. They marched me back here until the Queen summoned me to tell me my punishment. Hell serving Lagle."

  "How many soldiers were there?" Bianca demanded.

  "Dozens. I didn't think to count them."

  Bianca waved her hand in dismissal. "Any girl surrounded by a dozen men, let alone more than that, would be crazy not to be afraid. Yet you must have done the right thing, for they didn't hurt you, did they? Against a dozen men, I'm sure I wouldn't have your presence of mind. You are as brave as you need to be. As brave as Lagle, or me, or any one of us. You are our father's daughter, and he fears nothing."

  Ava managed a watery smile. "Sometimes I wonder."

  Bianca shook her head. "Don't. You were born here, which makes you one of us. The daughter of a slave, a concubine, a wife or a queen, it doesn't matter – you are the daughter of the King. A princess in your own right. In any foreign court, that makes you Lagle's equal, and don't let her airs and graces fool you. She is no better than any of us." She grasped Ava's hand. "Once you leave here, forget everything you thought you knew of harem politics. You are a princess, and you bow to no one but your king and your husband. And who knows? Maybe a husband awaits you, too – Lagle might marry the king, but he could have brothers or sons who are worthy of you. They will not notice a servant…but they will notice a princess who stands proud. The Queen might think this a punishment, but she is wrong. This is freedom for you. I only wish I could be so lucky."

  Ava's fingers tightened around Bianca's. "Come with me. Please."

  Bianca bowed her head. "I cannot. The Queen's attention fell on me today while we searched for you, and she chose to send me away, too. I leave for the Summer Palace."

  "No!"

  Bianca smiled sadly. "Yes. It is not so bad. Without you here, I should be lonely. At least at the Summer Palace, I will have the company of other banished sisters. Hazel was sent there, I believe. And Brenna. There is a lake there, I have heard, where we may swim in summer."

  Swimming. Not something Ava ever wanted to do. "You will like that," she said grudgingly.

  "Only if you promise to make the most of this wondrous opportunity, too. Swear to me that you will not be a mouse any more. Once you leave this palace, you will have the courage and strength of a koi, swimming upstream. No matter how high the waterfall, you will leap to the top. Promise me!" Bianca insisted.

  Ava choked out a laugh. "You want me to promise to be a fish?"

  "The bravest, most determined fish, who will one day become a dragon, while the rest of us must swim in the stream. Sumi would want this for you, though she is among the ancestors now. Be the fish who flies, Ava." The entreaty in Bianca's eyes brought Ava to tears.

  "I will," Ava swore. "By our shared ancestors, and my mother, I swear to you that I will do everything in my power to leave the mouse behind. For you, I will be a leaping koi."

  She only hoped she would have the strength to keep her promise.

  Eight

  "What ails you, Little Fish?"

  Yun turned in surprise to find his mother standing in the doorway to his apartment. She hadn't called him that name for a very long time.

  He dropped his brush on the table. "It seems I cannot write poetry any more."

  The Empress waved her hand airily. "Who can? It is a fine thing for a boy to play with, but you are a man now. A man who has been to war, and come back alive. Not many can say that." She eyed the drawings scattered across the table.

  Yun rushed to cover the corpses, but it was too late. His mother had seen all. "Forgive me, Mother. These are not something an empress should see."

  "It's not something anyone should see," she said. "What you need is a distraction."

  Yun wasn't sure whether he wanted to laugh or cry. What in the world had he not yet tried that could possibly take the battlefield out of his brain?

  "A wife would keep you busy."

  Yun stared. "A what?"

  The Empress's eyes were calculating. "A wife. There are plenty of unwed girls in the palace, daughters to members of the court. Your father gets a dozen petitions every week to let you wed one of them. He thinks you are a boy still."

  "No one who has survived a battle like that one is a child. The things I have seen…" Yun shuddered. "Mother, I am a man, but a broken one. What use would I be to a wife? How could I look at her without seeing…" He swallowed. He couldn’t tell her about the girls his brothers raped. There were some things no empress should know.

  "You are not your brothers," Mother said sharply. "If you treat your wife as they have done theirs, you will no longer be welcome to visit me."

  His mother's apartments and pleasure garden were the only p
lace he could find peace, if for a few moments, and she knew it.

  "Is there anything you do not know about what goes on in the palace, Mother?" Yun asked.

  Mother sniffed. "I am the Empress. There had better not be, or my spies are remiss in their duties. What do you want in a wife? Young? Or closer to your age? Court raised, or from one of the provinces? Pretty, of course, to please your artist's eye. What of her disposition? You are not likely to frighten a girl into obedience, like your brothers, so I suppose you will want one who is already quite docile. Perhaps one with skill in healing, who can help you sleep. Or would you prefer her to be able to sing you to sleep?"

  Dizzied by details, Yun shook his head. "Mother, you ask too much. If I must have a wife, my only measure of feminine perfection is yourself, and there can only be one Empress."

  Mother narrowed her eyes. "Don't be foolish. A girl fit to be the next empress after me would never be content to marry a youngest son. She would push you to be more ambitious, to make your father name you heir instead of your brothers. She would twist you into a man who is not my son."

  "Ancestors forbid any woman try to take me away from you, Mother," Yun said. "So it is best if I do not take a wife at all. What would I need one for, anyway? Father would only send my sons to war and my daughters to marry men he wishes to honour. My brothers can sire such children on their wives. No need for me to get involved."

  "No, I should find a girl for you. You will choose wrong. My spies tell me things you will never know until it is too late," Mother declared. "It is settled, then. I will find you a wife, and you will marry her."

  Yun sighed. There was no point arguing with the Empress. "Yes, Mother."

  Nine

  On the morning of her departure, Ava was surprised to find both Bianca and Bianca's mother, Militsa, in the courtyard, among the milling horses and men.

  "What are you doing here?" Ava asked.

  Militsa smiled indulgently. "On the day both my daughters leave the shelter of the palace for the wide world, I wouldn't be anywhere else."