Welcome to Hell Page 2

handshake. "I'm Mel," she began.

  "This is her first time here. She's being interviewed for a position here at Health, Environment, Life and Lands Corporation – as my executive officer," Lilith said.

  Luce's eyes stared hungrily at Mel as she lowered her gaze. "Is that so? I suspect I'll be seeing a lot more of you very soon, then. I look forward to welcoming you to the HELL Corporation."

  Mel caught the glance that passed between Lilith and Luce before the woman bowed her head in acquiescence. Mel lifted her eyes to meet Luce's, but smiled instead of saying anything in reply.

  She felt his scrutiny follow her out to reception, where the red woman thanked her again and said they'd be in touch.

  Mel tried to hide her smile as she left. Her stint in Hell was over for the day, and she hoped it would be her last for a long time.

  Mel waited on the station platform with all the other be-suited commuters. The train arrived, packed like a sardine tin.

  A man behind her muttered, "I survived the London Tube every day – no worries getting on this!"

  Mel stood aside for two people to squeeze out of the car before she sidled in, reaching for a metal pole to keep her balance when the train set off. A recorded message warned her that the doors were closing.

  "Nope, not getting on this one," the Tube survivor moaned as the doors shut, leaving him standing foolishly on the platform.

  The train picked up speed rapidly and the man behind Mel almost fell on top of her. When he straightened up, she became far more intimately acquainted with the stranger’s briefcase than she’d ever thought possible. She thought about accidentally stomping on his foot but decided that would only make the situation worse, because if he jumped, the briefcase would go up, too. With the corner of the briefcase jammed between her cheeks, she idly wondered what would happen if she farted.

  Faintly, she heard a phone ring. The generic tone could have been hers, but if it was, she couldn't reach to answer it. Whoever it was would have to wait.

  She sighed and closed her eyes. The stranger behind her sighed, too, sending a breath down her shirt to the lucky bra she wore on days when luck needed a little extra push. She struggled to maintain her equilibrium and vowed that if she felt the man’s hand move at all, she was going to make sure the whole train knew he was a groper – and not the fish, either.

  She didn't know how anyone managed an uncomfortable commute like this, twice a day, every single day of their career. Only an angel or a saint would survive without severely injuring someone in response.

  The train stopped at the next station and the man with the penetrative briefcase got out. Seeing a spare seat, Mel took it, straightening her skirt as she sat. She took out her phone and started reading. She'd check her messages when she arrived home – she had no intention of letting the whole train know her business. Especially not after they'd all been unwitting witnesses to her getting a briefcase up the bum.

  Mel lost herself in the book she'd picked up. Something about zombies and an Amazonian queen battling on the surface of Mars. Some people came up with the strangest things to turn into stories. She certainly enjoyed their efforts.

  She felt almost relaxed again as the train arrived at her station and she trudged up the escalators so she could head home.

  "Hello, Helpful Angels Agency. This is Persi. How may I help you?" her sweet voice gushed.

  "Good afternoon, Persi. It's Mel, returning Raphael's call. He said it was urgent?" Mel tried to hide her curiosity. What could possibly be so urgent that Raphael had needed to call her before he knew if she'd left the HELL Corporation office?

  "Oh! Oh, yes. Um, he's on a call – what do I do?" Persi giggled nervously. "I'm still not used to this switchboard thingy."

  "You could put me on hold, or you could tell me a bit more about what Raphael feels is so urgent. I've only been back from Iran for two days. I've spent most of that time either preparing for, or attending, today's job interview as a favour to him, when I was looking forward to taking some time off. I have so much washing to do and there's no food in the house." Mel could almost hear Persi's mind wandering. "How's your mother, Persi?"

  "She's good. She's always good. Worried, though. The rumours say the old devil's working on another bid for power and no one's sure when he'll show his hand. They're saying he wants out of Hell and he'll do anything to get it." Another high-pitched giggle. "It's frightening, Mel!"

  "People have been saying that for as long as I can remember and Lucifer is still firmly in Hell, Persi. I wouldn't worry about him. If he was marshalling all the forces of Hell for a takeover bid, we'd notice."

  "But he's sneaky and this time's different, they say. He might…OH! The blinky light for Raphael's phone is off. That means he's free to talk to you!" Persi squealed. "One sec and I'll –" The beep of buttons cut off her voice before it returned. "Raphael, it's Mel!"

  "No, just me," Mel replied. "Did you hit the flash key to transfer after you entered his number?"

  "OH! Thank you. Putting you through now, Mel!" Persi said with another giggle.

  A single beep, followed by some recorded music – the unearthly sound of a string quartet, Mel guessed. The music cut off after a few seconds.

  "Mel, you're the best and I need you," Raphael said. "You have to take this job."

  Mel sighed. "I thought you just wanted me to go in for the interview, to take a look around and report back on my findings. Now you want me to accept a job there?"

  "We need an insider at the HELL Corporation. They won the contract for mining this morning. You've seen how they're taking over. First the health and justice systems, then environment, fishing, mining…pretty soon, they'll control all of the privatised government departments. We can't let that happen."

  Mel wet her lips. "Why me? Why can't you send an archangel in? I thought Gabrielle was due back from Russia any day. She's experienced and more than qualified. What about Michael? He's good with IT – he fits in anywhere."

  "Gabi's still in Russia and Michael…he won't be involved in this one. It's too dangerous." Raphael didn't elaborate. His breathing crackled through the phone line.

  "You're not selling me on this, Raphael. Too dangerous for Michael, part of HELL's biggest bid for power in millennia…I'm the last person you should tap for this one. You know I'm better in the background, managing from the shadows. I don't have a taste for danger like some of your guardian angels. I'm…"

  "You're perfect," Raphael interrupted eagerly. "They won't suspect you because no one knows you. They'll dismiss you as a brand-new guardian. That's why we'll send you in as a new office temp, so you can…"

  "An office temp? The errand girl who answers the phone, takes minutes at meetings and does the photocopying? Are you serious? Was that what I was interviewing for? They'll never buy it. I'm qualified to run their entire company, Raphael. They knew I wasn't an angel-in-training like Persi – from the beginning of the interview. I'm surprised I made it out of there safely." Mel shook her head. "Gabi, Mike…you should be sending in the archangels for something like this. I was planning on heading up to Korea…"

  "We can't send Michael in and he knows Gabi, too," Raphael began, but didn't seem to want to continue.

  Mel took the bait tiredly. "Who's 'he', Raphael? Michael's not afraid of anyone. After taking on Lucifer himself, Michael's not likely to get nervous around one of his deputy demons."

  "We think Lucifer's in charge – directly, this time. If he appears in the office, you know Michael will pull out his flaming sword and all Hell will break loose. He'll set every demon he has against Michael. He won't let Gabi near any sensitive material, either. You're our only hope." Now Raphael sounded scared.

  Mel blew out a breath, trying not to laugh. The CEO she'd met looked like he wanted her all over something sensitive – which had nothing to do with the Corporation. He couldn't possibly have been… "Lucifer. Out of the Pit and managing a company. Well, I guess I can't say I'm shocked. The whole place was full of demo
ns in suits. The entire interview panel and their CEO, too. Look, I know demons are into the bureaucracy of contracts and such – they've been doing it since Roman times and they've gotten a lot better since Faustus – but surely Lucifer wouldn't be stupid enough to make such an obvious bid for power. It doesn't make sense." She thought of the arrogant CEO, passing his coffee cup to Lilith so he could check Mel out. The way Lilith had bowed her head, as if in respect – but Lilith was one of Lucifer's most trusted lieutenants. If the rumours were true, she was his mistress, too. Could the sleazy man truly have been the Lord of Hell? She couldn't tell Raphael that – what if she was wrong? She'd never had anything to do with Lucifer before and she knew very little about demons. Mel knew she needed to investigate further before she said anything. That meant returning to HELL. "Ah Hell. You think it's a serious attempt, if he's making it known he's involved, don't you?" She didn't want to believe it.

  "That's why I need you, Mel," Raphael persisted. "If they think you're insignificant, they'll give you access to more than any other angel we send in. Being you, you'll see to the heart and soul of the matter faster than anyone else can. And…and you'll be well placed to take over the whole Corporation if it becomes necessary. Or get out quickly if he makes an appearance – so you can warn us. No one else can do what you can, Mel."

  Mel felt